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 Last March, Phyllis’s second husband, Ragan Phillips, died after an extended stay in hospice. After months of caring for him, she learned that there would be no funeral because of the emerging pandemic. In lieu of a memorial service, friends surrounded their home with votive candles.“It was an added level of grief that was heartbreaking for me to witness,” Theroux says.“To have her house be vacant, and to not have the rituals and the support systems that normally would sweep through it, with love, and food, and company—it was just terrible.”

Theroux says Phyllis is“sharp as a tack” My Spirit Animal is A Grumpy Cow Who Slaps Annoying People Shirt but that her husband’s death sent her spiraling. She was lost in a mournful fog that presented as a sort of disorientation,“like she’d lost IQ points.” She turned inward, which terrified her son. As before, he called every day to check in. He taught her to use Zoom and FaceTime. He gently pleaded with her to recognize that she was depressed. A month passed, then two, with little progress. Then, says Theroux,“something miraculous happened.” As she sorted through her husband’s possessions, Phyllis found a journal he had kept. She called her son, elated.“She said,‘It’s almost like in death, our relationship is deepening,’ ” Theroux recalls. In this way, she transcended her grief.“She became this lotus, pushing through the mud to lay its leaves on the surface,” he says, choking up at the memory.“They had a deep love for one another that I admire so much.”

His parents’ partnership offered a young Theroux no such model of unconditional love.“Early on, I went into relationships very cautiously,” he says.“I had to navigate, and still have to navigate, how to have relationships and communicate and be an adult.” He dated; he got dumped; he dated some more.“You meet different kinds of women in your life, who teach you different lessons about what gives you the best chances of success with being satisfied in a relationship.” To wit:“The only relationship where I think codependency should be totally encouraged is with a dog.”

Theroux has not played many fathers. One of the first times he did, as My Spirit Animal is A Grumpy Cow Who Slaps Annoying People Shirt the titular character’s dad in Megamind, came nearly fifteen years into his career. He did so again on HBO’s The Leftovers. On The Mosquito Coast, which premieres April 30, he stars as a family man and a fugitive from the U. S. Government who absconds across the southern border with his wife (Melissa George) and their two children in tow. That’s about it.

But the love interest—that’s a role Theroux knows well: He first appeared onscreen in 1996, as a ratty revolutionary who sleeps with the woman who shot Andy Warhol in I Shot Andy Warhol. He went on to play a refined cowboy in Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, a smarmy lawyer on Ally McBeal, a dorky councilman on Spin City, a Bondian spy on Alias, a French-horn player on Six Feet Under, and not one but two not-right-for-Carrie dates on sex and the City, including a premature ejaculator named Vaughn Wysel.

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