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MINZY Some Girls are Just Born with Swimming in Their Souls Poster

 Dan Scarbrough has had a lot of conversations such as this one since his diagnosis came through, with his wife, with his parents, with his kids, with his bosses at Bradford grammar school, where he is the master in charge of rugby. They don’t get any easier. “I’m pretty nervous,” he says at the start of ours. “I feel torn, really, and that’s one of the reasons I’ve stayed out of the press until now.”

Scarbrough, 43, played twice for England. He is one of a group of retired rugby union players who are bringing legal action against the sport’s governing authorities because they have been diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury, and, in his case, early onset dementia and probable chronic traumatic encephalopathy. All caused, he and his doctors believe, by the blows to the head he sustained during his 15-year career in professional rugby.

Rugby's dementia crisis – podcast

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The firm behind the lawsuit, Rylands Law, is now representing 150 current and former players, men and women, and nine test cases are under way. Five of those nine went public last December; Scarbrough felt so conflicted about “coming out like this” that he has waited until now. It wasn’t the diagnosis with which he struggled. He had known for a long time that something wasn’t right, that his memory wasn’t working the way it should. He had already been to his local doctor to try to find out what was going on, and the initial reason he got involved in the suit was because it gave him access to specialist help he needed. “Now I’ve got a reason for what’s going on, I can accept it and try to move on,” he says.

The hard part is figuring out what it all means, for his children, for the children he teaches, and for the game he wants them to love the way he does.

The morning before we spoke, Scarbrough says, he had been discussing it with his 11-year-old son. He plays rugby too, and is the same age as some of the kids Scarbrough teaches at BGS. “He understands on a basic level,” he says. “I said to him: ‘I’ve got a brain injury from playing professional rugby, and people might ask you about it, your friends might ask you about it, so we need to have a chat about how you want to respond.’ And he said: ‘Well he’s my dad and I know he’s got a brain injury from rugby but I haven’t noticed it, he’s just my dad, and he’s a bit more forgetful.’ But when we started getting into it deeper, I was thinking: ‘How far do I go? Do I tell him how I feel about him playing the game?’ Because he’s about that age where they begin to take more notice of what’s going on, and where they might begin to question it a little bit.”

In his head this talk prefigures the ones he might have with the kids at his school and all of a sudden he switches – he’s not relating the discussions he has had but rehearsing the ones he hasn’t. “‘Why is Mr Scarbrough the way he is? Is rugby really the right thing for me?’”

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