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How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My husband and I have been happily married for 16 years and together for 17. We have four amazing children. Our sex life has always been amazing, never boring. We have worked to keep things interesting and make intimacy with each other a priority. Within the past year he has revealed to me that he has fantasies about dressing up as a woman in the bedroom. I made sure my reaction wasn’t off-putting and took time to think about it. I decided to give it a go. When the kids were out, he got dressed up in a skirt, underwear, bra, and one of my shirts. We had sex. He loved it a lot. I acted excited, but I was still trying to process it. Over the past few months, it’s gained more and more momentum. He even tried out some of my makeup at one point and now has several pairs of his own high heels, and he bought me a strap-on to use on him. He says he has no interest in dressing like this in public. He is also very adamantly straight.

I am having a really difficult time sorting out my feelings with this. It is not in any way a turn-on for me. It is actually a complete turn-off, but I don’t want him to have to hide a part of himself from me. I want him to be free to be himself with me 100 percent.  I just don’t know what to do to be all right with this. This is causing me a lot of anxiety (I have started taking anxiety medication because of this) and I feel like this could change our relationship whether I say something or not, and I don’t know what to do.

—Not Into Cross-Dressing

Dear Cross-Dressing,

Kinks, particularly when they’re newly explored or indulged, can result in a fairly selfish zeal. His experience might go something like “Oh! I’m finally able to talk about this. My wife is willing to participate in my desire. Exciting! Let’s do all the things! Fun, fun, fun!” without space to consider whether you are enjoying yourself, too. This is where you have to advocate for yourself. Your desires and satisfaction are of equal importance to his. And you’re taking anxiety medication to cope with your feelings, so your relationship has already changed, in a way that is detrimental to your mental health.

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