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 And yet what goes up… must come down. Goodman’s advice on the matter is sobering. “You can see right away that these people are not Bobbset Twins,” she writes. As predicted, the spell was swiftly broken. Before I’d even graduated from beginner to intermediate, he’d found a new dance partner—petite, feisty, and a Sagittarius—in the advanced class.

The “Twinning” Gemini All I Need is Love and Yoga and Knitting Poster

This chapter should probably come with a trigger warning, given the number of people I know who’ve had their heart broken by a Gemini. I remember ribbing my Gemini ex-boyfriend about this when he first slid into my DMs. “You know, you and I are the astrological match from hell. We’re doomed!! HAHAHAH” I wrote with a flurry of crystal ball emojis.

Geminis might have a reputation for being badly behaved and inconsistent, but really I think they’re deeply misunderstood. As Goodman points out, you are essentially dealing with two personalities. On a good day, they’re excellent conversationalists, quick witted and exceptionally sharp. On a bad day, well, let’s just not even go there.

The trick to making it work with a Gemini is to avoid their evil twin at all costs. My ex-boyfriend’s evil twin had an annoying habit of rearing his ugly head at the most inopportune times, when we were rushing to catch a flight (evil Gemini twin can’t bear to be late!), or waiting on line for a table at a restaurant (evil Gemini twin needs food!); there was nowhere to run or hide. For this unfortunate situation, Goodman has plenty of sympathy. “Pity the poor Taureans who are faced with these two fast-moving people!” Just like I said, doomed from the start.

The Oddball Aquarius

“There are exceptions, but the average Taurean girl who is unhappily involved with an Aquarian male is more vulnerable to being devastated by it than he is,” writes Goodman. By the time I came to read these fateful words, it was already too late: l was hopelessly in love with an Aquarius. Wonderfully gregarious, deeply humanitarian, and truly impossible to pin down, my ex-boyfriend fit the sign’s oddball profile to a T. Goodman’s description of his eccentricities is especially uncanny, down to his weird aversion to kissing and back rubs (though his obsession with Hello Kitty ephemera is clearly unique to him).

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